Where I Pooped Today

Aging or Perscription Poop?

2005-08-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I used to pride myself on the distinct lack of stink my feces produced during my thrice daily unloading. But now, I'm down to two poops a day and I will tell you that it takes more than two scoops of plump juicy raisins to get me going a third time. Plus, now the foul poison that eminates from deep within is the source of much shame. I work in a small office,

Mis-Targeted Poop

2005-07-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

Submitted by: Lothar I was doing some yard work in this guy's backyard one afternoon when the old gut started rumbling, alerting me that within an hour or so it would be time for a little "sit-down session.” The guy who lived at the house came outside right around quitting time and chatted me up for about 20 minutes past my fecal deadline. Then, the next-door-neighbor took up the challenge and

Angrily Compacted Poop

2005-06-10T15:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't pooped yet, but I suspect that it won't be pleasant. Today had been a good day until our airport industry started to weave its way through my colon. Admittedly, it's half my fault. But it's also partly the fault of Avis Rentals, Osama Bin Laden, President Bush and some jackass who tampered with an airplane fire extinguisher.Arriving at the airport in my rented Nissan Sentra, (A side

Le Poop de France

2005-06-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

Submitted by: Horseplop Ross (my ex-four-year-boyfriend) and I once took a romantic trip to Paris. One particular evening in the city of light, he whisked me away for a romantic meal at an elegant restaurant overlooking a finely manicured park lined with stoic old trees. The wine was perfect, his eyes were awash with the kind of masculine gazes of loving desire that would make any mortal woman

Tron Poop

2005-06-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Mierda:For some reason I thought I'd die with this story. Partly because I'mnot a huge fan of bathroom humor, partly because this particular poopmight be considered "environmentally irresponsible" ...but mostlybecause my fiance was a mere 30 feet when it happened. I'd hate tothink that a poop story might harm a future marriage, but in the nameof science, I will tell the true

The Exposed Poop

2005-05-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

Submitted by: Grizzlybare There is one situation that can cause even the mightiest of men to shy away from releasing the foulness and not allow them to experience the relief and joy of pooping… The Exposed Poop! These are the times when a patron is lucky enough to find a bathroom stall or entire bathroom without doors. It’s almost like winning a free neck-slitting. On several occasions I

Hot Poop

2005-05-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

Submitted by: The MulcI pooped in Cumming, GA today, but that's not what this story is about.You see, I never liked spicy food as a child. Actually, I didn't evenlike hot [temperature] food. I preferred Cheerios and cold,cold milk. However, as my culinary experiences grew and my preferencesevolved (music play in my head: French Fries with Pepper byMorphine), I started liking hot, then hot [

Class C Poop

2005-05-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

I pooped in Class C office space today. Now, from what little I know about the world of commercial real estate in Atlanta, location - rather than condition - often dictates how much a slum lord can charge for companies to pack their lemmings into cubicles. I'm not sure how much they were charging for this location, but I'm guessing that it was too much. The bathroom environment told the

Japanese Poop

2005-05-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

Submitted by: NewsgirlstacyThe Japanese are light-years ahead of us in toilet (or toire) technology. The very first toilet I used when I got here (and yes, I pooped in it) had a heated seat. Oh yes, my friends. A heated toilet seat. It takes a little getting used to, but after 3 or 4 luxurious, warm-bottomed poops you realize it is the best thing ever. And then, when you are someplace without a

The Unwelcome Poop

2005-05-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

Submitted by: Grandmaster Flush and the Furious FecesI have not pooped today, but will regale you all with the tale of a late night in Athens, GA. It was 80’s Night at the local bar formerly known as A.M.F. The year was 1999, and we were certainly partying like the song suggests. But as my stomach began to quiver, I realized this was not what Prince had in mind. Although his

Double Half Caf Poop

2005-05-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

Starbucks and New Jersey have at least one thing in common, both are fully aware and prepared for the fact that people dump their waste there. The bathrooms in most Starbucks are cleaned regularly and far more respected by the patrons than bathrooms found in Kmart or at your local courthouse. There seems to be an unspoken agreement among coffee drinkers that says, “Hey, this triple mocha espresso

Macon' Poop

2005-05-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

I pooped in Macon, GA today. The setting was one of a quasi-governmental facility utilized by business leaders either looking to aid or milk the local community. On the way to the bathroom I had to wade through a sea of Maconfolk sporting Dukes of Hazard haircuts and tweed blazers. Inside, the bathroom was a strange mix of frugality and southern whimsical design. The floor was faux linoleum tile

Hangover Poops

2005-05-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Of course the best poops are always taken at home, especially when alone and without any time constraints. And I’m always amazed at how the “hangover poop” can vary from weekend to weekend. Sometimes it’s the “beer poop” and it’s as if dozens of gummy worms had lubed up with Vaseline prior to the intestinal exodus. Other times you wake up and your body has had to suck moisture from wherever it

An Inaugural Poop

2005-05-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

In the course of renovating my home, I decided to add a bathroom. This would entail, of course, adding a new, virgin toilet. I remember gingerly unpackaging my new throne and wiping the dust from its cardboard insulation with a silk cloth. After a few moments, my eyes narrowed and a creepy grin crept up on the right corner of my mouth. I muttered a foreboding prediction, "Oh, the things I'm going