Le Poop de France
Submitted by: Horseplop
Ross (my ex-four-year-boyfriend) and I once took a romantic trip to Paris. One particular evening in the city of light, he whisked me away for a romantic meal at an elegant restaurant overlooking a finely manicured park lined with stoic old trees. The wine was perfect, his eyes were awash with the kind of masculine gazes of loving desire that would make any mortal woman melt. Afterwards, we started upon a romantic stroll down the Seine, now bathed in moonlight. This perfect evening called for an after dinner cocktail, so we headed to an upscale bar across the way.
While on our way, Ross broke into a strange run. “Oh Ross, you’re so playful…of course I’ll frolic with you.” So, I chased him across the street and around the corner, giggling with romantic bliss along the way. He was always doing strange, spontaneous, funny things so I followed my darling through the streets of Pariscalling out to him, eager to find out what we were doing. He kept yelling SHHHHH behind him and swatting madly in my direction as if he didn't want me to follow. I was so caught up in what I thought was a romantic venture to a previously scouted romantic spot, that I ran even faster. I couldn't wait to see what would happen next! “Oh Ross, my sweet. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth!” Besides, I would be damned if I were to be abandoned in the middle of a strange city in the middle of the night, so I chased him for a good ten minutes before he finally stopped in a parking lot in front of a nice restaurant.
By now, visions of a breathless romp under the Parisian stars were being replaced with a strange curiosity and even a little concern. Ross was hunched down behind a car - and then I heard it. Some of the most explosive poo I have ever heard, smacking against the cobbled streets of downtown Paris. Apparently the food wasn’t quite as perfect as I’d thought. I proceeded to fall down in the parking lot laughing, which then made him laugh and poo even harder. Of course he had nothing with which to wipe himself, so the walk home/subsequent clean-up was not exactly pleasant. Damn it was funny, though! Ah, Paris.
1 Comments:
Ross is a FOOL! A Fool I say! Not for his mad Parisian dash. But for letting a woman like you get away - a woman who finds that episode funny should be proposed to on the spot. Well, maybe not on that exact spot, but a non-stinky spot nearby.
Post a Comment
<< Home